following the Way

Bluetree’s song “God of This City” is one that has spoken deeply to our hearts. During a particularly unsettling week during our time in N. Iraq, Dave and Jess Ray introduced us to this song. It became the cry of our hearts – to hope for greater things for the people of Iraq, the people in our city. I can’t imagine how many times we poured out our hearts through those words looking out over the city, begging our Father to come and bring healing to those in desperate need of it.

But at some point I quit expecting Him to do greater things. I miscarried as we prepared to move from Iraq. We faced major changes in nearly all of our plans, and change is never something easy to walk through, especially when you are moving countries. We have now walked through two years of infertility while eagerly hoping the Lord would choose to grow our family. We live in one of the largest cities in the world and all too often feel unnoticed, just two more people racing down busy streets, sitting on crowded buses, trying to get around and through another day.

I don’t expect God for great things anymore. Most of the time I just expect to get through a day. And it turns out when we’re thinking about big hopes and plans, I completely expect Him to fail us. I expect more pain, more disappointment. I expect to meet more people who really aren’t interested in hearing much good news, rather than to be led to those who are eager to hear. I expect for people to be skeptical of us, to keep their distance once they start to really to get to know us. I expect for our family to see more painful days and more disappointment.

But this week, two years along our journey of infertility, three years since moving back overseas as a married couple, and eight months into realizing how hardened and disinterested many of our friends are in the things of God, Scott and I sang “God of This City” again. And I realized I want to expect that greater things really are to come. I want to believe our Holy God for great things in the city where we live, in the lives of our friends and neighbors. And I want to believe God for great things in the life of our family.

Today I believe again. I am making it the cry of my heart that it gets better.  I don’t believe our God for worse things to come, for hopelessness ahead.  But instead I cry out with all that is in me, greater things are yet to come! He is not done! He will complete the good work He has begun! And one day because of the power of Christ, we will stand before Him. Whatever our days look like on this earth, whatever happens between now and then, we are confident of what is to come—and that it is greater!